Sinking feeling

I have been trying to encourage Maria to learn to read and write a little, telling her it isn’t too late for her to learn, but I have a feeling that my efforts are going to waste. I do think she wants to learn but is either embarrassed or too busy or … I don’t know. I’m trying not to be too pushy about it and not make her feel bad about herself. She only learned to tell the time as an adult, and does not know how to use a phone because she cannot read numbers. I had to make a phone call for her today to get the gas replaced because she couldn’t do it. I was gently trying to teach her how to use a phone and gave her a children’s book with numbers in it so that she can try to memorize the numbers at least. But I have a sinking feeling that the book will end up as fuel. Her son doesn’t have the patience to teach her how to use a telephone. All this upsets me a great deal. The unfairness of it all. How instead of learning how to read and write, Maria was picking coffee beans instead. She has probably never had any incentive or encouragement to learn how to read.  And I’m upset because I feel so powerless. My Spanish needs to be light-years better for me to work with illiterate adults but it is something I would really like to do in the future.

I really hope I am PMS-ing so that I can attribute my bloated-ness, sadness and all-around foul mood to it. :( Today was one of those days where I felt if I saw another cobblestone, I was going to puke. Oh bitumen, how I love thee.