Thursday, June 21, 2012

Erm, can we change this line of questioning?

Maria and I talked about the effects of my accident (specifically impaired bowel/bladder function) and whether that was a problem in my relationships. Given that I only have one data-point, I could not give her a thorough answer. Maria talked about her abortion when she was 30 years old, how she had her uterus and ovaries removed, and how her partner (he was already married) left her as a result. Her first child was also born out of a relationship where she was with a married man. I can’t imagine living a life like hers. We are so privileged; it almost makes me feel incredulous at my relative good luck.
Maria told me that I was the only person to do anything for her 50th birthday last Friday – that made me sad and ticked off that she isn’t appreciated more. I gave her some money, a small present and a cake, and even that, I thought, was not enough. Acxa didn’t even acknowledge her birthday – no well wishes, no Happy Birthday, no makes me dislike her even more. Unfortunately she stays in the adjacent room so it is hard to avoid contact with the cow.
I feel incredibly immature in Guatemala – so many people have families by the time they are in their early-mid 20’s. I know it isn’t that uncommon in the US but at least in my peer group, the vast majority of people do not have children or are not yet married. I know I couldn’t have handled taking care of kids in my 20’s, and I don’t think I could right now.
I am currently learning about the preterit and imperfect tense and their respective uses, especially the imperfect. However, in order to convey the uses of the imperfect tense mi maestra kept asking me about details of my accident: what date did it take place, what day, what time etc. I went along with it, but it still elicited some powerful feelings in me as I recalled that day and those memories. At least now, I can speak the facts without breaking down and crying, as I did in those early months. 

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